Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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