I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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