So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have tasted many bathrooms
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
