dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
