I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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