We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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