it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
