Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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