Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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