it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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