i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
