if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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