Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize