nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
