Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
