I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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