Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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