: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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