am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
