I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
