Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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