So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was like eating out sand paper
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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