I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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