I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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