had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
