If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
