The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
