He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
