so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize