Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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