who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
