Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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