Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
