conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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