Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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