He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
