I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
