I need help removing her.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
