It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize