I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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