I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
