Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
