im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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