This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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