So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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