so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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