I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
