your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
