Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize