So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
