I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
