Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
