last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
