i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
