i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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