haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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