Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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