some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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