I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
