we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
